Friday, April 5, 2013

Time: 45 minutes.
 

Situation: A quiet room with my eyes closed, sitting Burmese-style with my hands on my knees. 

Note: Last night I "dreamed" there was a sudden-strobbing of BRIGHT white light througout my visual field. There was even a loud noise that accompanied it - not a thunder noise, but, like, a banging or something. There was no rain or lighting last night and none of this woke my wife up. But it sure woke me up and today has been a day of physical pain and psychic misery. I'm strongly suspecting "A&P" at this point.


Experience: I closed my eyes and immediately perceived my visual field "vibrating" at about ten times per second. Concentration was diffuse, there was physical and psychic pain, and stories and tape-loops occurred. My awareness to transition naturally to my skin. At some point during this session the speed of the vibrations increased to maybe twelve or sixteen times per second, but I couldn't say when this began. As the session progressed concentration returned, the misery was still "there" but wasn't so much attached to "me" experiencing it - it was merely readily observable sense-information. Vibrations took on a stark, chunky quality and 
"formations" were evident. Then the session ended.

Observations: Given last night and today, I suspect I'm in the "Dark Night" . . . with maybe some tastes of "Low Equanimity". This seems a little fast, given that I'm pretty sure that I was still in "First Path Review" on Sunday. Maybe I'm spinning my wheels trying to map so much . . . whatever. The meditator just keeps on doing largely as he did before (meditating). :D

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