I don't always blog about my meditation sessions; I try to, but sometimes I just don't have the time.

The issue is kind of compounded by the fact that I have to blog right after I meditate or I forget what happened - I mean, I remember generally what happened, but I like to be as specific as I can, and if I don't get it down on "paper" right away - I only retain big-picture stuff. Today I didn't blog right after I meditated and that's why my description of this session goes like this:

I sat down, sense-doors vibrated, I was in the dhukka nanas, then equanimity, then there was a fruition, then I was in the dhukka nanas again, then equanimity, then *ding ding* - time was up.

See why I like to write it down ASAP?
 

Time: 45 minutes.

Situation: A quiet room with my eyes closed, sitting Burmese-style with my hands on my knees.

Experience: I closed my eyes and immediately perceived my visual field "vibrating" at about five or six times per second. I allowed my awareness to transition to my skin, which was vibrating too, and the vibrations increased in speed to maybe ten times per second. Concentration was very diffuse, but slowly it sharpened, and "formations" began to be perceived. I stayed at this point for most of the meditation. There was a predominant sense that there was much more to the formations than I was perceiving - that my concentration was not finely attuned enough to perceive them fully. Then there was a *blip* of no thought/experience ("Fruition") that, when "I" was back and observing, left a nice little wave of physical pleasure in its wake. As that faded, I found my awareness was diffuse again, and discursive thought was in greater evidence. This slowly gave way to heightened concentration and "formations" began to become evident again as the session ended.

Observations: I was pretty tired during this session - actually began to nod-off a time or two. I've decided to let go of the whole where am I on the Progress of Insight trip and just sit and observe things arise and pass and look for the Three Characteristics in them, and that's been a nice break. I've got to admit, since Wednesday I've felt more present and at ease than has previously been my default mode - I feel like my baseline level of fundamental suffering has gone way, way down (although I still do have a baseline) and like a filter is no longer "in use" when I experience things.

Time: 45 minutes.

Situation: A quiet room with my eyes closed, sitting Burmese-style with my hands on my knees.

Experience: I closed my eyes and immediately perceived my visual field "vibrating" at about five or six times per second.Concentration was diffuse, discursive thought was evident, and there was some physical pain. Within a few minutes, concentration sharpened, physical discomfort was gone, and thoughts became more observable as sense-objects. There was a great deal of expectation - some of which was critical. Then there was a "Fruition experience". Then "I" was back - back and observing a fairly long and intense rapture - it was damn close to orgasmic. Then I dropped back into diffuse concentration and physical pain and started to cycle back up into "naña 11 territory".

Observations: Time flew by this session. I've been obsessing rather a lot about where I am on the Progress of Insight, and what the heck I'm supposed to be doing where I am (Review). That obsession is starting to bleed into my meditations, which seems like a pretty clear sign to me that I've gone overboard with it. I think I said in my last post that I'd sound-out the yogis on the DhO about this whole deal and see what they had to say - that thread is here if you're interested.

Time: 58 minutes.

Situation: A quiet room with my eyes closed, sitting Burmese-style with my hands on my knees.

Experience: I closed my eyes and immediately perceived my visual field "vibrating" at about five or six times per second - maybe more. In a few seconds my awareness naturally shifted to my skin, and the vibrations sped up . Concentration was diffuse and there was some physical pain. Within a few minutes, concentration sharpened, physical discomfort was gone, and thoughts became more observable as sense-objects (along with the more usual suspects of sight, touch, taste, smell, and sound). There was a little *blip* where all sense input was gone and there was neither observer nor observation. Then "I" was back observing, a little rapturous wave or two would course through my body, then I would drop into diffuse concentration and physical pain and the cycle would repeat. This happened maybe six times or so. When things reset each time, I would make an effort to move through "ñanas 5-10" towards "ñana 11", and this seemed to happen pretty much every time in fairly short order.

Observations: Its hard for me to evaluate what's happening. After speaking with a guy on the DhO about it, it seems I'm in Review, which involves cycling through "ñanas 5-11". The phases and experiences seem to track. The unknowing-events (Fruitions) are difficult to percieve, I "notice" them more by noticing when I'm not noticing ANYTHING and where that not-noticing happens in terms of the the ñanas. The guy (Devin) I spoke to recommended hanging-out in Review for a little while before embarking on another Progress of Insight because once I start a new Progress, Fruitions from this path will cease. I think I'll post on the DhO about this - maybe see what I "should be doing" in Review, and for a how long, since I'm feeling a little lost. I'll do some outside reading too and see what I come up with.

Oh, by the way: my dreams since hitting Review have been VIVID and INTENSE. Actually, all of my existence has been that way - I feel very here, as if some set of standards, or pair of glasses or something, that I've been employing forever, is no longer in play. Its interesting and not unpleasant.

Time: 35 minutes.

Situation: A quiet room with my eyes closed, sitting Burmese-style with my hands on my knees.

Experience: I closed my eyes and immediately perceived my visual field "vibrating" at about five or six times per second. In a few second my awareness naturally shifted to my skin, and the vibrations sped up to ten or twelve times per second. Concentration was diffuse, there was some physical discomfort, and my thoughts were snarly and very self-critical. Within a few minutes, concentration sharpened, physical discomfort was gone, and thoughts became shorter, neither pleasant nor unpleasant, and more readily observable as sense-objects. There was a subtle space-out moment of non-experience, then *bang*, I was back to diffuse concentration, pain, and swirling, difficult-to-perceive-as-sense-objects thoughts. Then: sharpened concentration, and a repetition of the former cycle up to another space-out moment. This whole little process repeated itself maybe a dozen times or so during this session. 

Observations: This is seeming to me like "Fruition territory" to me because these little cycles seem to run from "ñanas 5-11" with a "blip" ("ñanas 12-16") at the end. I've "posted on the DhO about it" and hope to skype with one of the yogis there at some point today to get his/her (I have no idea) take on what's going on. All I can say at this point is that things are different than they were before my mediation session on Wednesday: sense-input is more immediate and visceral, everything is an object, there is less idea of what things are "supposed" to be like, and there is less inclination to think along those lines.

Time: 45 minutes.

Situation: A quiet room with my eyes closed, sitting Burmese-style with my hands on my knees.

Experience: I was excited to go into this session. I closed my eyes and immediately perceived my visual field vibrating at about six times per second. After a very short while (a minute or two?) my awareness naturally shifted to my skin, and the vibrations sped up a lot, to maybe fifteen times per second. Formations presented and contained data from multiple sense-doors. Background mental processes were objects to the same extent that any other "thing" was an object. Impermanence was predominant and was the one of the Three Characteristics I focused on observing. I tried to observe each phase of each vibration: from nothing to nothing. Vibrations almost seemed composed of micro-vibrations. There was a sense of evenness or smoothness, as if attention were so finely trained on each formation that there was nothing "missed". Although I observed thoughts and emotions arise and pass, and they all certainly had their own character (pleasant, unpleasant, lustful, bored, etc), there was an even sense of, well, equanimity, to the observer, which observer and which sense of equanimity were equally objects composing formations.

Observations: N/A.

Time: 45 minutes.

Situation: A quiet room with my eyes closed, sitting Burmese-style with my hands on my knees.

Experience: I was palpably excited to go into this session. I had real sense of anticipation, like I'm close to something. I closed my eyes and immediately perceived my visual field "vibrating" at about six times per second. Then things sped-up considerably. The first five minutes or so saw me quickly pass through nañas 1-4, at which point I lingered in the nañas 5-10 for another five minutes or so. I really didn't know what was going on until I hit equanimity - its been a while since my cycling through the nañas was so "in your face". I hung-out in equanimity for about ten or fifteen minutes. Formations presented and passed away rapidly and contained data from multiple sense-doors. Background mental processes were equally objects for observation for the "Three Characteristics". Impermanence was predominant. The there was a bit of a "blip" of no-thought. It was like time just skipped ahead a beat and everything took on a sort of fluid-stasis-like-quality; thoughts arose from nothing, occurred, and vanished, all in slow motion. Experience seemed to slow down in a major way. Then things slowly sped-up again. I dropped down into naña 4 and proceeded to go up to 11 again (it took about 5 minutes); then the whole thing happened again. The session ended in equanimity.

Observations: I can't shake the feeling that I'm on the cusp of something exciting. I'm gonna post this practice log on the DhO and ask for input from the yogis there. I'm excited about the place where my practice is . . . and also scared. Its a weird mix of emotions.

Time: 45 minutes.

Situation: A quiet room with my eyes closed, sitting Burmese-style with my hands on my knees.

Experience: I closed my eyes and immediately perceived my visual field "vibrating" at about six times per second. Things quickly sped up, and within a few minutes the vibrations were too fast for me to really guess how fast they were. I allowed my awareness to shift to be sense of touch, but the vibrations sort of took on a life of their own and my awareness never really again settled on a particular sense input. Each vibration was like a "glob" of sense input (e.g. touch, sight, and sound). My concentration was pretty high and consistent, although I did occasionally drop into stories and tape loops. There was no real sense of history - just now: vibration, not vibration, and I focused hard on seeing the  "Three Characteristics" in each. Impermanence was predominant, but Unsatisfactoriness wasn't AT ALL far behind and brought up a really potent sense of heartbreak.

Observations: Where to begin? The vibrations in this session were fast and clear and contained data from multiple sense-doors. Background mental processes like pride, fear, anguish, etc. were all contributing to each vibration. When the session was over, vibrations were still predominant and it took about a half-hour before that changed much. This session was characterized by a feeling of being on the cusp of something and with what I can only describe as a "fixation" on the "not vibration" phase of reality.

Time: 45 minutes.

Situation: A quiet room with my eyes closed, sitting Burmese-style with my hands on my knees.

Experience: I closed my eyes and immediately perceived my visual field and sense of touch (skin) "vibrating" at about twelve to eighteen times per second. Each vibration was very immediate and was observed less as "one in a chain of vibrations" and more as "there" then "not there" then "there", if that makes sense. My concentration was hard to evaluate - I definitely dropped into stories and tape loops a few times, but overall I felt like I was following the vibrations very closely (i.e., seeing them arise, do their thing, and pass away utterly in a very distinct and clear way). The vibrations themselves had a very inclusive feel in that they seemed to include data from multiple sense doors. I focused hard on seeing the  "Three Characteristics" in each vibration, with Impermanence being predominant, followed closely by Unsatisfactoriness (which had a surprisingly fairy-tale-tragedy-type of taste to it).

Observations: n/a.

Time: 45 minutes.

Situation: A quiet room with my eyes closed, sitting Burmese-style with my hands on my knees.

Experience: I closed my eyes and immediately perceived my visual field vibrating at about six to eight times per second.My awareness shifted naturally to my sense of touch (skin crawling) and the vibrations sped-up to maybe twenty times per second. Each vibration was very immediate in that I was not experiencing each as one of a series of vibrations, but rather was experiencing each vibration as either present, or not. Background mental processes were equally objects of observation along with the more obvious and standard ones like sight - processes such as observing itself; it got to the point where there was really no-self and object, just objects. Impermanence was far and away the most conspicuous of the "Three Characteristics" during this session.

Observations: EVERYTHING was fluxing FAST during this session. It was interesting to observe an object vibrate, and then observe that the process of observing itself was vibrating. There was a definite point where I felt almost "empty" in that "I" wasn't anything not observable as an object - hence what the heck was "I" when all  phenomena were "out there and observable" as rapidly arising, existing, and passing away utterly (which is what I always mean when I say "vibrating" and/or "fluxing")?

Time: 45 minutes.

Situation: A quiet room with my eyes closed, sitting Burmese-style with my hands on my knees.

Experience: I closed my eyes and immediately perceived my visual field vibrating at about six to eight times per second. The vibrations were fine and clear. My awareness shifted to my sense of touch and the vibrations sped-up to maybe sixteen times per second or more. The beginning, middle, end, and space-in-between-end-and-beginning of each vibration were all clearly discernible. There was a shift where I realized I had viewing vibrations habitually as part of a string of past vibrations, but that really there is no past. Past is non-existent. My experience took on an immediacy as each sense-input was either sounding off a "sense door" or there was "nothing". I felt wrapped in a fluxing sheet of all six senses, but it was unclear what the "I" was that was wrapped up in it. I focused hard on trying to see the "Three Characteristics" in each vibration - particularly Unsatisfactoriness, which I'm told is a "high-yield" (all be it sort of experimentally existentially tragic to consistently note).

Observations: n/a.

Time: 45 minutes.

Situation: A quiet room with my eyes closed, sitting Burmese-style with my hands on my knees.

Experience: I closed my eyes and immediately perceived my visual field vibrating at about four times per second. The vibrations were pretty chunky until my awareness sort of transitioned to my sense of touch "all in its own", at which point the vibrations sped-up markedly and smoothed-out. My concentration was pretty diffuse throughout this session, which may be related to my just trying to sit back and observe all my sense doors (including thoughts and emotions and more subtle background processes like "observation") vibrate. It felt like the vibrations got faster and faster during this session with very clear periods between the each vibration of nothingness. I really tried hard to see each of the "Three Characteristics" in each vibration - but the speed at which they were arising and passing made that difficult.

Observations: I often meditate on my lunch break at work. I go find an empty room and do it. I also work for my father-in-law (great guy) who knows I sneak off and do that. So during this session both my legs fell asleep, and at the end I came limping back into my work area like I'd just been riding a horse for two days straight. He said I looked like a bad impression of a character out of Gun Smoke. I'm sure he's right. First time both legs have fallen asleep at the same time. Anyway . . .

This was a "tough" session. The vibrations were fast and furious and I felt like I was in danger of falling into each "gap" between vibrations - over and over and over. At several points "Formations" took on the attributes of multiple sense doors - including "The Observer" vibrating - which was disconcerting and somehow "tragic" in a way that is both hard to put into words and, if we're being honest, is hard for me to understand as well.

Time: 45 minutes.

Situation: A quiet room with my eyes closed, sitting Burmese-style with my hands on my knees.

Experience: I closed my eyes and immediately perceived my visual field vibrating at about four times per second. The vibrations were pretty chunky and the experience was a little rough, but after a minute or so the vibrations smoothed-out and sped-up to about twelve times per second. My concentration was pretty spotty early on but about ten minutes in (maybe - time was hard to judge) my mind settled down. My practice during this session was to try and stop "doing" by stepping back and allowing everything to do its thing. Visual field vibrates. Skin crawls in time. Smells, taste, sound, thought - all in time. I wasn't able to view all sense-doors firing at the same time, but there was some "mash-up" of the various doors during each vibration for sure. Towards the end of the session I focused on really watching each vibration and trying to spot the  "Three Characteristics" in it with fair success.

Observations: I don't really have much to say about this session except that each session lately has focused more and more on the gaps in between vibrations. I feel like I'm becoming more aware of those gaps.

Time: 45 minutes.

Situation: A quiet room with my eyes closed, sitting Burmese-style with my hands on my knees.

Experience: I closed my eyes and immediately perceived my visual field vibrating at about six times per second. After perhaps twenty seconds there was a "jump" and the vibrations maybe tripled in speed. They were so fast they were difficult to really watch arise, exist, and pass-away clearly, so I switched objects to my sense of touch, which I seem to be better at observing for whatever reason. I dropped into stories and tape loops early on in the session several times, but the last two thirds or so involved almost none of that, and a lot of me trying to see the "Three Characteristics" in my object, and trying to use all my sense doors in a "more inclusive view" sort of way where I could observe formations themselves. This started to happen and a lot of the background processes I was observing tended to be things like "fear" and "resistance". I had a startling realization that my entire existence and reality itself don't exist many, many times per second.

Observations: An image that has been haunting me lately is (oddly enough) a clip from a Parks and Recreation episode - the one where Ron Swanson goes on TV to promote a gala because (something) happens to Leslie and she can't do it, but when Ron gets to the TV station, the host is drunk and so Ron ends up being on TV for several hours, just taking calls from viewers. One of his calls is from a woman whose dog has chewed-up the legs of a chair in her house. Ron tells her to take a walnut and rub it along the chair-legs to fill and camouflage the chew-marks. Several times during this sitting I felt like that's what I do with reality. Reality is fluxing in and out of existence - it arises from nothing, exists, and passes away utterly and forever into nothing again. There is a lot of time (whatever time actually is) where there isn't anything existing, its just nothing - its the time while something has yet to arise and exist before it passes away. I keep trying to observe that "nothing", and I keep getting scared and resisting when I get to close to "seeing" it. That nothings is what I have been using the walnut (delusion) of continuity to cover-up. Nothingness.

Time: 45 minutes.

Situation: A quiet room with my eyes closed, sitting Burmese-style with my hands on my knees.

Experience: I closed my eyes and immediately perceived my visual field vibrating at about eight times per second. After a few minutes the vibrations ramped-up to about twelve times per second or so, and I switched my focus to my sense of touch. I dropped into stories and tape loops for brief periods (I think) two or three times.  Each vibration I perceived seemed to include an entire "experience" (read: read stimuli from all the sense doors). There were some light show once or twice and some emotions like sorrow and fear - but all that was just part of each vibration. The transient nature of each vibration was very vivid as was "suffering". There were several points where felt sort of "stretched out" and adrift. The sessions seemed to go from close-focus to wide-focus as time passed.

Observations: I experienced a "blip" during this session that seemed similar to an "unknowing event" - I don't really think/know if it was, but I should probably read up on "post-11th nanas" and the like. Seems like it might be time.

Time: 45 minutes.

Situation: A quiet room with my eyes closed, sitting Burmese-style with my hands on my knees.

Experience: I closed my eyes and immediately perceived my visual field vibrating at about six times per second. After a few minutes the vibrations ramped-up to about twelve times per second or so, and I switched my focus to my sense of touch (skin) to better track the arising and passing of each vibration. My concentration was pretty high and I only dropped into stories and tape loops once or twice, and then only briefly. This session was characterized by the inclusion in each vibration of multiple sense-stimuli. I would perceive sound and taste in a single vibration, for example; sometimes three or four senses in each vibration. The delineation between experience and mental impression of experience became pretty stark. I had a shock when it occurred to me that each vibration was like a chunk of sense stimuli that arises out of zero, does its thing ever so quickly, and then is utterly gone. When the session was over, this high level of concentration lingered on for a little while after.

Observations: Impermanence was really, really obvious as each sensation came, "did it", and disappeared, all in a flash. I was struck by how impossible it was for any of them to satisfy, since they existed for only the briefest of moments. I experienced some sadness reflecting on this, and observed even the sadness vibrate in and out of existence, and thought how pointless it was to be sad when this is just "how it is". So I let myself off the hook and just kept on keeping on.

Time: 45 minutes.

Situation: A quiet room with my eyes closed, sitting Burmese-style with my hands on my knees.

Experience: I closed my eyes and immediately perceived my visual field vibrating at about six times per second. Then the center of my visual field went dark and it was difficult to perceive vibrations except around the periphery. I observed these edge-vibrations which continued at about six times per second. At some point I shifted my attention to my sense of touch, and just felt my skin vibrate at about the same frequency. I experienced a lot of sadness, disappointment, hopelessness, and the like during this session. I tried to watch those emotions arise and pass and succeeded to a certain extent. My concentration really went up and down during this session. For a while I'd be scattered and depressed, then I'd pop into a place where the vibrations seemed double in frequency, my concentration would be fine and spacious, and I seemed to observe the flickering nature of all phenomena; then I'd drop into a period of scattered concentration and emotional turmoil, only to pop into the fine and spacious place a little while later. This flip-flop thing happened several times. 

Observations: I'm not sure where I am on the "Progress of Insight". Sometimes I feel like I'm between nanas "3" and "4", and at other times I feel like I'm between "10 and 11". This last session, especially since it was devoid of "A&P"-like light shows and involved transitions into a high-frequency, inclusive mind-state, makes me feel like I'm hovering around "10 and 11". But I don't know - this is mostly based on some "forum feedback I've gotten on 11".

Time: 45 minutes.

Situation: A quiet room with my eyes closed, sitting Burmese-style with my hands on my knees.

Experience: I closed my eyes and immediately perceived my visual field vibrating at about six times per second. In short order there was a bright light show behind my eyes that took the form of blossoming pools of light and color. The center of my visual field went dark and it was difficult to perceive vibrations except around the periphery, where they continued at about six times per second. Then the frequency doubled or more. My visual field was appearing as numerous particles arising and passing with great speed. My attention was light and fine. I examined visual phenomena, taste, touch, sound, and thought. Everything was vibrating rapidly. I found myself pulling away when I would get "too close" to the vibratory nature of things - I saw myself continually pull away and attempt to solidify experience in the face of confronting the non-solidity of it all. I more or less stayed at this high velocity vibration place until the session ended.

Observations: This session was characterized by impermanence. Everything seemed to arise and pass at great speed. There was a sense of inclusiveness of focus, and then a sense of that sense of inclusiveness of focus. There was also a sense of discomfort as I experienced this session - I got the distinct impression that I was being confronted with an unpalatable truth.

Time: 28 minutes.

Situation: A quiet room with my eyes closed, sitting Burmese-style with my hands on my knees.

Experience: I closed my eyes and immediately perceived my visual field vibrating at about twelve times per second. I was pretty distracted and dropped into stories and tape loops several times. About halfway through the vibrations increased in speed dramatically (maybe eighteen to twenty times per second). There was an inclusiveness regarding objects to this session that differentiates it from previous ones. Thoughts and feelings were very much part of my perceptual framework, and vibrated along with everything else. The vibrations were so fast and strong that this session was almost nauseating.

Observations: This session was a sort of study in contrasts, spacious and relaxing but jarring and disturbing; high degrees of concentration contrasted with long periods of inattention. This session was over my lunch-break - so maybe that accounts for some of the bi-polar aspects present.

Life Off the Cushion: I've decided to start writing "Life Off the Cushion" entries in addition to my meditation session entries.  This is because there's so much cross-pollination between my day-to-day life and my meditation sessions; I want this blog to be a record of my life as a yogi and I don't feel like its doing anybody any favors (me, you, anybody) if I leave out things that are obviously meditation-related just because they didn't happen while I was on the cushion.

Also, for the sake of clarity, since I refer to things like "nanas" and the "Three Characteristics" pretty frequently in this blog, I've decided to try and include explanatory links (like these) whenever possible. This is so that if I'm using a term or concept you aren't familiar with, there's a way for you and I to quickly and conveniently get on the same page. I'll try to put the links/terms in quotes, so you don't get fooled by the random advertizing links that blogspot throws into every post - for which I disclaim any and all responsibility. So, if you find yourself reading about penis-enlargers as a result of a link you've clicked on here, please don't yell at me "unless it was in quotes". It looks like blogspot likes to display links that are actually supposed to be there (aren't advertisements) in gray text, so that should be a big red flag that its safe.

So anyway, those housecleaning issues having been dealt with, there's been some bleed-through from my meditation sessions into my daily life. First, I've been edgy and irritable; I've had a pretty pernicious headache and had a hard time concentrating. This could be the result of the Ugly Monster Cold I've been recovering from for the past two weeks (don't get me started, it was awful), or it could be "Dark Night" bleed-through, or maybe some sort of combo.

Second, Since my session last night I've been dropping in and out of the "zoetrope-like" experience of my perceptual reality where EVERYTHING flickers in and out of existence. This is while I'm doing things like driving or talking with my wife, which is majorly disorienting, as I'm sure you can imagine. Its also very unsettling and there's something I don't like about what this sort of insight says about reality. I think I'm pretty uncomfortable with the pervasiveness of the this truth in my daily life. Things were all fun and games when this sort of experience was localized to the cushion, but seeing that everything in the whole world actually flickers in and out of existence pretty disconcerting.

Time: 45 minutes.

Situation: A quiet room with my eyes closed, sitting Burmese-style with my hands on my knees.

Experience: I closed my eyes and it took a few moments before my concentration settled on my visual field. It was vibrating at about ten times per second. My skin was crawling too; the sensations vibrating at about the same speed. I was in touch with feelings of hopelessness, depression, a lot of anxiety - all of which were vibrating too when I turned my attention on them. There was a minor light shows  behind my eyelids and I dropped into some stories and tape loops for a few minutes, popping out of them at various times to observe my thoughts arise and pass on their own without my having to "do" anything. Then things seemed to even-out and the vibrations started to get a little difficult to label as sight, sound, feeling, etc. I focused my attention on really trying to see the Three Characteristics in each vibration and felt very sad when I realized that none of these things were me or not me - I don't know why that made me sad, but it was destabilizing and the sadness was very heartfelt. I stayed with these multi-sense-door vibrations and continued to look for the Three Characteristics until the timer went off signaling the end of the session - which times, by the way, was really jarring.

Observations: This session felt very deep in that it felt like coming up from under water when the timer went off. There was a few second interval while I sort of "stopped" observing vibrations and "started" interacting with the real world again.

Time: 45 minutes.

Situation: A quiet room with my eyes closed, sitting Burmese-style with my hands on my knees.

Experience: I closed my eyes and had a very hard time concentrating almost instantly. My visual field appeared featureless and static with some "things" going on on the margins that were difficult to direct my attention to and dissect for the Three Characteristics. After trying several objects I settled my attention on my sense of touch, and just sort of let my skin crawl, looking for the Three Characteristics. After a while, a sort of pulsing base started and sent on at about four times per second. I moved my attention to that and another pulsing began and sort of overtook the base; the second pulsing was super-fine and vibrated at maybe fifteen to twenty-times per second. Somewhere in there I experienced some sheet-lightening visuals behind my eyelids, and around this time my visual field came alive and there was a lot to pay attention to there. I no longer had difficulty concentrating. I experienced pain in my legs and back and feelings of despair and disappointment and fear, but these sensations didn't appear to be "me" and I could clearly observe them arising and passing away at fifteen to twenty times per second or so.

Observations: This was a difficult session to accurately narrate. A lot was going on and its hard to look back and say precisely what was happening when.