Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Time: 45 minutes.

Situation: A quiet room with my eyes closed, sitting Burmese-style with my hands on my knees.

Experience: I closed my eyes and immediately perceived my visual field "vibrating" at about four or six times per second. Concentration was diffuse, stories and tape loops occurred a few times, and there was some physical discomfort. I allowed my awareness to transition to my skin and the vibrations increased in speed to maybe ten times per second. There was a somewhat sudden and into "Equanimity", the character of the vibrations began to resemble crude
"formations", which were "chunky" and stark, then became progressively more "fine" in texture. "Impermanence" became predominant, then an "Unknowing Event" occurred, there was a long rapturous wave of pleasure, then my legs hurt, my back hurt, concentration was diffuse, there rough entry into "Equanimity" again and formations were evident, vibrations became more fine, but now "Not-Self" was predominant, then an "Unknowing Event", another pleasure wave, then - wow, my legs hurt again . . . all the way back into low "Equanimity". Then the session was over. 

Observations: I haven't had much of chance to meditate for the past three or four days (between a short vacation to Santa Cruz with my wife and then Easter), so it was really nice to hit the cushion again. What with the (pretty in my face) cycling through the nanas 5-10, 11, then 12-14 this all seems like "Review" territory to me, especially in light of a few conversations with other yogis and some reading on the DhO. I don't want to hang in "Review" "too long" since my perceptual abilities seem to have increased to the point where I can tell I'm being sloppy in my observation of objects, but can't quite get "unsloppy" yet - its sort of like a doctor who has enough skill to diagnose your illness, but not enough skill to treat it. I want to move into the next Progress of Insight. I feel like its been about two weeks of "Review" now, and I'm getting a little sick of it in this respect - although "Fruitions" are fun. Anyway . . . all that happened . . . hope you all are having a great day today! Oh - one more thing: this was the first time that the "Door" to the "Unknowing Event" was clear to me . . . before there was just observation of rapidly updating "formations",then "Unknowing Event" - this time, the progression was readily observable, which was cool.

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