Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Time: 45 minutes.

Situation: A quiet room with my eyes closed, sitting Burmese-style with my hands on my knees.

Experience: I closed my eyes and immediately perceived my visual field "vibrating" at about six times per second. Things quickly sped up, and within a few minutes the vibrations were too fast for me to really guess how fast they were. I allowed my awareness to shift to be sense of touch, but the vibrations sort of took on a life of their own and my awareness never really again settled on a particular sense input. Each vibration was like a "glob" of sense input (e.g. touch, sight, and sound). My concentration was pretty high and consistent, although I did occasionally drop into stories and tape loops. There was no real sense of history - just now: vibration, not vibration, and I focused hard on seeing the  "Three Characteristics" in each. Impermanence was predominant, but Unsatisfactoriness wasn't AT ALL far behind and brought up a really potent sense of heartbreak.

Observations: Where to begin? The vibrations in this session were fast and clear and contained data from multiple sense-doors. Background mental processes like pride, fear, anguish, etc. were all contributing to each vibration. When the session was over, vibrations were still predominant and it took about a half-hour before that changed much. This session was characterized by a feeling of being on the cusp of something and with what I can only describe as a "fixation" on the "not vibration" phase of reality.

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