Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Time: 45 minutes.

Situation: A quiet room with my eyes closed, sitting Burmese-style with my hands on my knees.

Experience: I closed my eyes and immediately perceived my visual field vibrating at about six times per second. Then the center of my visual field went dark and it was difficult to perceive vibrations except around the periphery. I observed these edge-vibrations which continued at about six times per second. At some point I shifted my attention to my sense of touch, and just felt my skin vibrate at about the same frequency. I experienced a lot of sadness, disappointment, hopelessness, and the like during this session. I tried to watch those emotions arise and pass and succeeded to a certain extent. My concentration really went up and down during this session. For a while I'd be scattered and depressed, then I'd pop into a place where the vibrations seemed double in frequency, my concentration would be fine and spacious, and I seemed to observe the flickering nature of all phenomena; then I'd drop into a period of scattered concentration and emotional turmoil, only to pop into the fine and spacious place a little while later. This flip-flop thing happened several times. 

Observations: I'm not sure where I am on the "Progress of Insight". Sometimes I feel like I'm between nanas "3" and "4", and at other times I feel like I'm between "10 and 11". This last session, especially since it was devoid of "A&P"-like light shows and involved transitions into a high-frequency, inclusive mind-state, makes me feel like I'm hovering around "10 and 11". But I don't know - this is mostly based on some "forum feedback I've gotten on 11".

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