Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Time: 45 minutes.

Situation: A quiet room with my eyes closed, sitting Burmese-style with my hands on my knees.

Experience: I closed my eyes and immediately perceived my visual field vibrating at about four times per second. The vibrations were pretty chunky until my awareness sort of transitioned to my sense of touch "all in its own", at which point the vibrations sped-up markedly and smoothed-out. My concentration was pretty diffuse throughout this session, which may be related to my just trying to sit back and observe all my sense doors (including thoughts and emotions and more subtle background processes like "observation") vibrate. It felt like the vibrations got faster and faster during this session with very clear periods between the each vibration of nothingness. I really tried hard to see each of the "Three Characteristics" in each vibration - but the speed at which they were arising and passing made that difficult.

Observations: I often meditate on my lunch break at work. I go find an empty room and do it. I also work for my father-in-law (great guy) who knows I sneak off and do that. So during this session both my legs fell asleep, and at the end I came limping back into my work area like I'd just been riding a horse for two days straight. He said I looked like a bad impression of a character out of Gun Smoke. I'm sure he's right. First time both legs have fallen asleep at the same time. Anyway . . .

This was a "tough" session. The vibrations were fast and furious and I felt like I was in danger of falling into each "gap" between vibrations - over and over and over. At several points "Formations" took on the attributes of multiple sense doors - including "The Observer" vibrating - which was disconcerting and somehow "tragic" in a way that is both hard to put into words and, if we're being honest, is hard for me to understand as well.

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