Time: 45 minutes.
Situation: A
quiet room with my eyes closed, sitting in a chair with my hands on
my knees.
Experience: I
closed my eyes and awareness settled on touch-sense. Touch-sensations
flickered in and
out of
existence at a rate of about twelve times per second. The
texture of the flickering was smooth. Thoughts and emotions were
observable as
objects.
Concentration
was moderate and equanimity was moderate to high. I
reminded myself what the Three
Characteristics are and that sensations will do their thing without
involvement by a "me". I fell into a brief story and when I popped out of
it, the rate of sensation-flickering was more like twenty times per second. Sense-data from multiple
sense-doors presented simultaneously in each moment. I had a realization that sensations were never composed of data from more than one sense-door; when there's data from more than one either its a formation (a moment with data from more than one sense-door presenting simultaneously) or its a misunderstood sensation. The
process of assigning "self-hood" to objects-organ-consciousness
"contacts" was apparent, and then, realization: I have been been laboring to stop the conflation of self and phenomena, but this assumes that there is a permanent, separate self out that can be conflated - the realization was that there is no such self. There is just phenomena doing their thing, and sometimes the mind gets confused and calls these phenomena "self" when, in fact, there is no such thing as a "self". A layer of effort dropped away. There was still selfing happening, but it was just the mind, not a "self". This provided a non-euphoric sort of meat-and-potatos-brand of clarity for the rest of the meditation, and even now, as I write this.
Observations: N/A.
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