Time: 45 minutes.

Situation: A quiet room with my eyes closed, sitting Burmese-style with my hands on my knees.

Experience: I closed my eyes and was instantly in touch with my visual field vibrating at perhaps ten times per second. I felt a pressure on my forehead and observed that for a while until it gave way to waves of physical pleasure coursing through my body. That gave way to a state of mental "pleasure" and stillness. There was some long pulses of light/dark behind my eyelids and I found myself in touch with a lot of emotions: anxiety, shame, fear, frustration, etc. I would note the emotion and observe its physical effect on my body, then turn my attention back to my visual field to observe it vibrating. I fell back to the pulses of light phase and cycled back through to the emotional phase only to fall back again maybe half a dozen times. I experienced a lot of "half thoughts" where a tap loop or story would begin and I would note that it was occurring and it would end immediately.

Observations: This session I felt really scattered. Although I haven't been logging it here, I have been meditating for the last few days, during which I traveled to Chicago to attend my grandpa's funeral. I also strongly suspect I'm in the Dark Night. These to facts have left me feeling very raw and scattered.