Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Time: 45 minutes.

Situation: A quiet room with my eyes closed, sitting in a chair with my hands on my knees.

Experience:  I closed my eyes and awareness settled on touch-sense and sight-sense. The sensations flickered in and out of existence in tandem at a rate of about seven times per second. The flickering had a moderately rough texture to it, but after about a minute it smoothed out quite a bit. Concentration and Equanimity were high and there was a sense of anticipation. I reminded myself what the Three Characteristics are. I fell into a brief story, popped out, fell into another, popped out again. Sensations sped-up to about twelve or so times per second. The sense of anticipation was replaced with a sense of existential fatigue - a sense of just being so over the whole selfing process. Concentration and Equanimity were both very high. The Three Characteristics were clearly apparent in each block of sense-data. The arbitrary assignment of "self" to sensations was transparent, and the fact that it was exhausting and sucked in a deeply painful way was very clear. Awareness inclined towards the space between "flickers. I was aware that time was passing during this session, but the session still seemed to fly by. I feel like I could have continued meditating forever.


Observations: I had a few deep insights into not-self in this session. Its hard to pinpoint exactly where they occurred in the session, and they had a fruition-like *blip* factor to them. Weird.

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