Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Time: 45 minutes.

Situation: A quiet room with my eyes closed, sitting in a chair with my hands on my knees.

Experience:  I closed my eyes and observed touch-sensations flickering in and out of existence at about five or six times per second. Strength of concentration was high - but equanimity was relatively low. Too, there was a sort of void or hole in my concentration, right at the center of the field. Anyway, I observed touch-sensations arise, do their thing, and pass away into nothingness, and then observed which of the five aggregates I was assigning a sense of self to as it observed that information from the Sense Doors. I fell into a story, popped back out, and concentration was high, and equanimity was moderate.  The flickering of data sped up. Formations were subtly there. I fell into another story and when I popped back out both concentration and equanimity were high. More and more sense-data was coming in and not triggering a selfing process. The session ended and it felt like I was coming up out of very deep water. Time had flown by. Now (about a half hour later) I feel very aware . . . open? I don't know how to describe it. Also, during the session, I had the opportunity to jump into one or two of the Pure Land jhanas, but I continued to not sense-data and selfing, instead.

   
Observations: I've been trying to note selfing whenever possible off the cushion. This session feels like that practice has been doing "something" inside me. This session felt deep and significant in some way. Will continue to explore.

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